Tuesday, August 31


Wow. Major (actually not really) sports day for me, Huiling and Yin Jie. Siao ones lar. I was in my slippers and three-quarters actually (sock in bag) and was waiting for YJ at the usual busstop to meet Huiling to bowl when she appeared in shoes and pe shorts. *raises eyes* A little miscommunication. It was gym + badminton then go for bowling. Dang. Didn't really want to go for gym, but YJ dragged me home to change so we can all get some exercise, then a little fooling around with the badminton rackets, and some sessions at the alley.

A little ambitious huh? Especially when we even wanted to study after all that, but YJ had to go back school, so we sorta compromised, and waited for her at the Tampines Interchange mac. Yeah. Tiring day, since I slept only at 2 the previous night (this morning... whatever.), and couldn't quite concentrate on physics, or whatever I was reading. Sigh.

Still don't have the mood for studying, even though it's already 2 weeks before the exams. I guess I'm too good a procrastinator. Can't blame myself.

Posted by Isabelle at 8:43 pm

Monday, August 30


I'm gonna slack again. Die. What a week made for slacking. Today's physics practical exam, tomorrow's celebration for Teachers' Day, Wednesday is the day itself, and we have chemistry practical exam on Thursday. That leaves Friday, and I don't have any motivation to go back for lesson, except for the chemistry tutorial. What a slackers' week.

Sigh.

Feeling a little guilty I haven't been spending time with the rest of my friends that out of my class' circle, so maybe I'll take the chance to head out with them. Yeah.

Posted by Isabelle at 8:53 pm

Sunday, August 29


Yeah. Can officially declare Sunday to be 'slack day', coz basically what I did was to laze around in the house, diddling with my PS2, or reading books. Quite a waste of time. Yeah.

Jun Yong flew my kite again. Supposed to go church after weeks (months) of no attendance, but he had to back out on me last minute. Lucky for him, he messaged before I got out, and so I wasn't that pissed. But still a little annoyed anyway. Gave me more excuses to work on my PS2. Darn. Finally got off the console, and went out with Huiling to pick up a few books from Popular and the library. Physics guidebook that we had contemplated to buy a few days ago, and she borrowed some books from both libraries at Hougang Mall and Amk. Sigh. Not much done, but at least I got out of the house. Headed for Xin's house later the evening, and watched the Bronze medal men's volley. Not bad. Finally got to watch a little sport that I liked. Didn't watch the whole thingy though, coz we needed dinner. Settled on western food over at my area, and yeah. Uneventful day.

Lol. Sundays huh? Yeah. I do love the guidebook I bought for FFX-2 though. Hehe. Nice pictures... =D I guess that was the only positive thing I can say for Sundays.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:11 pm

Saturday, August 28


I learnt two things today.

1. 'Bite me' sounds very in fashion nowadays. I'm gonna learn to use that phrase.

2. I'm a spoilt brat, because I'm a single child. Bite me.

Posted by Isabelle at 8:52 pm

Friday, August 27


Wow. What a waste of time. Duh. Turned up for 2 slacking periods in physics lect, then ponned all maths. Came basically just for chem tutorial. And what did we do? Cracked jokes all the way. Lol! Mrs Lee! Haha... I think I'll never forget her. Most unforgettable Chem teacher. Haha.

Really skipped a lot of lessons today. Most prob is that Mrs Tay will never let us off. Me and Yin Jie wanted to pon all three maths, then decided that the classroom is the safest. But therein comes the difficulty. Which class is empty? And the risk of staying outside is higher. Lol. Sounds like detective work. Haha. We stayed in a classroom until bell rang, then was almost going out of the class when Mrs Foong walked past... Holy crap! I mean, we were just like inches away from her, but she didn't see us... Any time she turned to look inside, we are dead meat. Oh crap. We had to move out, since there was a class, and we shifted three classrooms in all, just to avoid Foong. And guess what? Kana spotted by Tay. Damn suay. Sigh. But luckily her mood was not bad. She was even gonna like laugh. You know, the kind of face, wanna laugh, but can't, and then told us, "you arh, skip my lesson, so naughty arh, you two."

I so wanted to laugh. Man. What's up with the teachers? Ate mashed potato from KFC (smuggled in) outside of the classroom, and the DM just had to walk past us. I was expecting some kind of admonishment, but he just gave us that kind of face again, and laughed. That's it. Really, what's up with the teachers? They are almost happy. I think the Teachers' Day bug is spreading like mad. Must be it.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:11 pm

Thursday, August 26


Woo. Wat a short day. Ponned the first four periods of boring maths tutorial and useless pe lesson, and went for breakfast at TM Mac. Hehe. Joined up with Sophia and Peiyu first, then Alvin and Johnathan came afterward, and we sorta slacked a while, dragging the time. Reached school a little late for chem lecture, but at least made it. Lol. It was last minute preparations for the upcoming chem practical exam, but it seems I was distracted half the time in the audi, and regretted attending. Damn. Why on earth did I wake up for that lect anyway?

Ponned almost the rest of the day, skipping the maths lect, and going for only GP tut at the end of the day. Stupid right? 3 periods, 11.15 to 3... Absolute waste of time. But the bus trip was kinda funny. Sat with some secondary school girl, that nodded off like no one's business. And I mean really, really slept like a log. She knocked her head against my shoulders for at least 3 times, almost landed her head on my lap, and can still sleep it through. Damn straight. When I tried to push her back up, she was actually quite heavy, considering her a little smaller-sized than me... Funny. Lol. She woke me up from a nap that I was trying to get while leaning against the window. Sigh. So for the better half of the journey, I was trying to fake sleep so people wouldn't really laugh... Yeah.

Laugh all you want now. Lol.

Anyway, came back to catch up with reading I been procrastinating on, and watch Singapore Idol. Best man. I love Olinda Cho and her rendition of 'Sway' by Michael Buble! Makes me wanna buy that album. Man, and I was so fighting the urge to not buy it when it came out. Sigh. Gonna splurge a little (a lot) these few days. =X

Posted by Isabelle at 10:22 pm

Wednesday, August 25


Whee! Just finished a game of table tennis and now relaxing this Mac and surfing some net. Duh, Yin Jie and Huiling are gonna get some fries while me and Huiying used the both computers available. Not much to say but yah. Really had fun because i didn't have to play bball just to get Huiling to play table tennis since it was raining... Oh, so sad! Lol... Nyah, nyah.

But Yin Jie and I thought the time was too short lar. Then when we wanted to rebook, someone before us booked it already! So sad. Haiz. Next time, maybe. I hope.

Talk about school. Was talking about placing for the tables at prom when we realised that we are having 21 people going for prom, and only places for 20 people. And guess who's the odd one out? Yeah. Not much needed to say, but feeling a little guilty since we sorta eliminated her from our clicks. Wondering if she'll have anyone to sit with? Hmm.

Posted by Isabelle at 6:44 pm

Tuesday, August 24


Oh yeah. I’m still sticking to intensive studying, and I hope I won’t give up. But I really don’t feel like going to school tomorrow. Sigh. Cannot. Must. Not. Give. Up.

Crap. I’m crazy. Going insane with maths, chemistry, and physics. Ok, I must remain positive about this. Studying is all for my own good. I must be sensible...

Studying is crazy stuff, I kid you not.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:52 pm

Monday, August 23


Argh. Spending late nights burning the oil, catching up with whatever that’s left (and that’s a lot)… And all for the reason that I don’t wanna do badly for my prelims. This upcoming exam’s gonna determine my mood for the next 2 months, and damn if I do as badly as my common tests. Grr. I hate this, I hate everything that I’m trapped in, and I hate knowing that I’m actually a part of this mad rat race. ‘A’ levels turning me into someone I don’t like; don’t wanna be.

I’m gonna study harder. I have to, to break out of this stress box I’m so frustrated with. I think if I did better, maybe I’ll give more slack…

Posted by Isabelle at 10:31 pm


We are so easily contented. Maybe not, maybe yes. But just that simple human touch, and we wished for no more. Maybe so, maybe not. But sometimes we are just so uncomplicated. Gain acceptance, gain confidence. Loners are not accepted. Maybe, for that split second of our existence, and we can better realize what we have is the better part of the deal. Or maybe it’s just simply the act of giving, and wishing for nothing in return that is more profiting. Nothing can convey the exact significance of such, but perhaps the blurriness between action and inaction would be more consoling.

Posted by Isabelle at 12:33 am

Sunday, August 22


Actually had a very long post, but stupid blogger boinked up again, and my post did a disappearing trick... (GRRRRRRR.... Never, ever forgive Blogger for this.)

So yeah.

Bought present at PS.

Headed for Marine Parade to study with Yin Jie and Huiling.

Went Tampines to eat Cafe Cartel, and met June Yong there. Gave present.

Sigh, this is getting irritating. (I'm barely controlling my inner fury... Grr...) It was fun actually, having people to eat together, and laugh and crack up. Took lots and lots of photos on JY's digicam, and I think those are up on his blog. Lol. I mean, really hilarious. I don't think I ever laughed that loudly for a long time. We were really mad. But the bottom line was that we had fun.

Crazy thing was that we even played bball. I know, forbidden stuff, can't touch. Eww. But I had to cave in. Learnt not to spoil it for everyone just coz I didn't want to play, and that would really be unfair. It's irritating, and I seriously have a hatred for bball, but yeah, major adjustment. And it was after all sorta birthday celebration. Didn't want it to end on a sour note. I mean, I hate bball doesn't mean I can't play it once in a while, right?

Yeah.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:21 pm

Saturday, August 21


So, er, yah. (Don't know what to say.) Had to rescue Yin Jie from the bus since she didn't know where to stop at my place, and pick her up from wherever she was. That and waiting for the rest to turn up took me the better of the afternoon, and by the time we really played some table tennis was around 4 something. Actually, the session was pretty short, and the four of us, me, Yin Jie, Huiling and Jun Yong (Xin went home instead) ended up at my house watching TV. Actually, the TV was real good, coz Li Jia Wei was playing against that Korean, but irritatingly, she lost. Grrr.

Mood was dampened, so we got out of the house, get back to playing. Not really table tennis, but the rest wanted bball, and I was very, very reluctant. Hmm. Somemore we didn't know of any empty courts. Yeah. Very reluctant.

Then that guy just had to dump us, said he was going home if we weren't playing bball. Man, that totally threw us off, and the next moment, he was on the bus. And I thought we were gonna study if there was no bball. Oh well. So the three remaining got on a bus to Kovan for dinner, stayed at the mac for some studying. Quite boring, but yeah.

Just felt a little funny, coz he left for no reason, and didn't want to study with us. I mean, coming out doesn't just mean playing bball only, and yeah. A little affected, and guilty, since I was really the one behind the 'no bball' thingy. Yeah. Sigh. I think he did that just to make me feel bad so I'll play bball. Bleah.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:08 pm

Friday, August 20


I'm confused with myself. I puked at least 4 times today, couldn't keep my food in the stomach, feel sick, face pale, but am still able to joke and play around in chem lab. Amazing. I think I'm mad.

Hmm. And what was funnier? I don't know what happened, but that guy seems super hyper today. He's mad too. I think madder. Lots lot more. Hmm.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:26 pm

Thursday, August 19


I'm so stressed. Burnt from inside out. Oh man. And over some stupid exam? What the hell is that? Oh crap. Sometimes I just think everything's so useless... Haiz. Can't help but get so frustrated with things, with studies, with life. Crap.

I'm so stressed. Over nothing, but with the fact that I'm seriously behind with my work compared to my class, that gets to me. Maybe I'm competitive, but at least it paces me better, but I can't handle that stress I'm getting from all that ruckus. Never been so put under the test so much before. It's the A's for God's sake. I'm freaking out.

Holy crap. I should never have let studies get the better of me.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:03 pm

Wednesday, August 18


*Stares blindly at her chem option booklet* This is killing me. Sigh.
*Flips the next page* Why do we have to study the darn structure of the protein in our body? *Mumbles* Amide linkage, hydrolysed by acid or alkaline hydrolysis or enzyme catalysed hydrolysis.
*Reads aloud* Primary structure, sequence of amino acids in polypeptide chain with covalent cross-linkages. Secondary structure, alpha helix, flexible and elastic. Beta-pleat sheet, flexible by inelastic. Tertiary structure, folding of alpha helix, interactions of R-groups. Van der Waals', ionic attractions, hydrogen bonding, disulphide linkages. Quarternary structure, oligometric proteins. Haemoglobin, 2 alpha-sub-units and 2 beta-sub-units. Little contact between pairs of units.
*Sighs heavily* This is getting me no where.

Posted by Isabelle at 8:33 pm

Tuesday, August 17


3 1/2 weeks to prelims. Not much time left, but still not the time for chionging. You know, everything's now is revolving around books, books and more books. It's terrible. Can't stand it. Pressure's cooking, and I'm fried. Not really actually, but soon. I'll be one frenzied, paranoid, insane person. Don't understand how an 'A' level exam can actually get me so down. I mean, it's an exam... right? So that's what I keep saying to myself, but nah. That line's not working on me anymore.

Nerves. I have the nerves. Argh. So I decided I'll go release some steam over at Heli's blog... Hehe...

Posted by Isabelle at 10:43 pm

Monday, August 16


Few more weeks to prelims, and I'm getting the butterflies. Nervousness, worry, yeah... Not really feeling great about it. (Come on, who loves the exams?) Trying to study hard now, but not getting all the concentration I need. Part of me is still trying to fake my way through with excuses like prelims not being important since it's not even counted, and the other part is panicking.

I can barely count the weeks on one hand.

But that's still weeks away. That ain't days yet.

Yeah. How contradicting. Kinda making me go crazy.

Posted by Isabelle at 9:29 pm

Sunday, August 15


Ok, I think I'm obsessed. I love the poster on my site now. Absolutely love it. I'm infatuated with a video game guy who doesn't even exist in real life. The closest that gets is the person that Squall is molded against, and even that, he's just an actor. I think I have a problem with defining real life. (That can't be blamed though. I seek only for perfection.) But at least while I'm still in my teen age, I still have the right to remain in a fantasy world.

Hehe. I think I finally understand my craze for video games.

Posted by Isabelle at 9:49 pm


Which one will you choose?

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way? Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we would make...



Most people might choose to divert the course of the train,and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Almost everbody would have thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was the rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place? Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

Have you considered that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use and that they whould have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids. While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made,we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right." Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils. (...and liquid paper now is getting fancier...)

Posted by Isabelle at 1:25 pm

Thursday, August 12


I think I'm in a weird mood today. Funny, to put it in a simple way. Hmm. Sometime I just have this antsy feeling, like hovering about a point where you neither go into serious mood swinging, or jump like some hyena or wild person. Yeah. Just quiet, a little tingling. First of all, cleared basketball today, major achievement k? No, I must clarify that I do not mood swing because of bball. I just mood swing because the occasion calls for it. Or whenever I feel like it. Or to spice up my life. Life's just not a bed of roses without some thorns. Gotta accept that.

But I think I'm just an ass. Otherwise I have an inferiority complex. Really. I think that's why my mood kinda sucks nowadays. Hmm. Bad timing, but whatever. I just wanna lose some heat and get some air. Or maybe lose some of those fats as well.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:19 pm

Wednesday, August 11


Hmm. I've got to be the most emotionally and physically stressed person. Right. Can't stand it whenever my friends head off for some shopping. I think I suffer from post-shopping trauma now.

Posted by Isabelle at 9:48 pm

Tuesday, August 10


Great! No, haven't beaten that FFX, but major advancement today. Gotten that two extra aeons that I've been procrastinating on, leveled my characters pretty much, did some more stealing... Yeah... But at least I got that two aeons... Hehe. Anyway, Doing my compre now, due tomorrow, and left that pesky summary and AQ... Now, if I'll just concentrate a little while longer...

Posted by Isabelle at 8:13 pm

Sunday, August 8


Ok, so I was a little mad, agreeing to jog with Xin today so early in the morning. I woke up long before my butt felt the sun. About 6.30 ba. Hmm. That's mad, and such an ungodly hour to be awakened by some stupid alarm clock. Haiz. Must be some kind of possessive powers that overcame me when I actually proposed about the jogging thing last night. So yeah. Went out at 7 to meet up with her, and jogged towards the Institute of Mental Health, circled it before heading for Hougang Point. Hmm. That must be about 4 km. Not bad. Lol.

Anyway, long time no jog. Decided I should at least make a mere attempt at losing some fat cells. Hehe.

Posted by Isabelle at 9:28 am

Saturday, August 7


Hmm, seemed that I slacked a lot during these past two days, doing basically nothing. Finally had some activity going on when Heli called me for dinner. I thought it was some kind of a small gathering like me, Xin, Ven and her together. Turned out Fey was there too. So, ok. Headed over to Kovan for that nasi lemak, then Heli suggested we get back to Hougang Green to play that what-was-it-again? Ohh, er, "blind cat". (Not three blind mice. Hehe.) But funny thing was, why go all the way back when we were already at Kovan. Not that a playground was hard to find, but yeah. Under her insistence, we took a ride down to Hougang Green. Lucky for her, the bus was prompt, otherwise I think I'll just whack her lar. Hehe.

It was quite fun, and it's been a long time since we had time to act like kids again, you know, climb up and down just to avoid some 'blind cat', but yeah. Fun. Then CK split his pants. THAT was the funny part. Lol. And the tear got worse and worse. So he had to change at Jay's house. (If not how? Later get into trouble of flashing... Wahaha....)
Ok, I think I'm getting too funny now.

But yeah, I have to, to cover up some stupidity. For starters, I was *almost* gangbanged. Yeah, not really, but we had a good fight on it. In fact, it not for that irritating Xin that goaded the rest to hit me, I'd have pounced on her for revenge. Haiz, but well. And they say that's for making up to me on my birthday. What a nice way to celebrate a belated one. And later, I naively believed Jinglin, the er-hem, "innocent" one. Nice one. Never will forget her for it. Didn't know what happen next, but I landed in some shit position where I became that 'blind cat', and god knows what happens next. Hmm. Well.

Then there was the surprise I never managed to find out. It was kinda funny, since they were trying their best to fool me, and surprise! Well, if the smoke hadn't been so choking and the sparklers not so loud, I wouldn't have guessed. There they were, waving sparklers when I opened my eyes to check on the weird noise. Funny. Lol. Can't really explain it, but yeah.

Funny.

And that fuzzy feeling noses into me again. You know that kind of feeling. I might have missed my birthday, but they paid it twice back. You know, they are obliged to do this for me, since it's already so long ago. More than a month. And that's exactly why I would feel so dumbfounded. It's been so long, you wouldn't know what hit you. Hmm, I think they did it on purpose. Lol.

Yeah. (I'm short on words now.) Sometimes they really do things that amazes you half the time. Didn't expect anything at all, just a simple dinner, hanging out, play some silly kid game, pass the evening, and they hand out to you a special present. Not that the gift was extraordinary, but it was the heartfelt gratitude that would leave that mark for at least many years ahead. Can't say how much tonight have rocked me, but I know that there's still a particular group that still cared, and still will. To have at least prepared a belated birthday gift, to have dinner out now and then.

There's nothing I can say. I'm not someone with a lot of words. Can't really talk much when it comes to real talking. But if anyone's reading (and I know one for that matter), I really wanna thank you, for that bit of time spent, that bit of effort, for celebrating a one-month-belated birthday.

Thank you.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:58 pm

Friday, August 6


Been sleeping too long. Man, I'm pig. Really. I'd actually forgone net time to sleep yesterday, and the day before. Crap. Wednesday was really tiring. (Actually it's every day this week.) Slept in for two days, and that was the first time I've done that. It shows, see, I'm on the net at such an ungodly hour. Not going school today, so I'm just having fun now. Woke up at about 5 today, and feeling energetic. (Of course, I just slept for 10 hours. Bleh.) I think I'll go have some fun, then hit the books...

=)

Posted by Isabelle at 6:10 am

Tuesday, August 3


In great mood coz I just finished making food. Yeah, decided to experiment with melted chocolate and corn flakes. Didn't know you could do that until one of my classmates brought it to school. Nice leh. It's not bad, so yeah. Made a bunch of them, then if it's nice I'll bring some for sampling. =D

Posted by Isabelle at 9:16 pm